Moving

I'm not sure exactly where to begin, but I suppose a short introduction wouldn't be a bad idea:)

Hi.  I'm Shanda.  No, it's actually ShANda, like panda.  Yeah, with a hint of southern twang please.  I was born and raised in a small town in NC...no culdesac, no neighborhood, just 3 acres of land and woods in a brick house.  My dad built it (with some help of course).  He's kinda awesome.

Fast forward 18 years...

Now I wanna talk a little bit about moving...as you can see from the beginning of this post, there was no move....ever....in my life until:

UNC-Chapel Hill, my first big move.  Best. College. Ever.  Don't argue and don't hate.  You can never change my mind.  Got it?

In my small NC town I was kind of a "big fish" in a "small pond" if you will.  But my pond quickly became and ocean and my status as a "big fish"....well, shrunk.  A lot.  But that was okay because nothing beats being a Tarheel.  Seriously.

My next move was just a hop, skip, and a jump away to Durham.  Not far away from my beloved UNC, but finishing college and starting "real life" was HARD.  Maybe we can go into that story another day. 

I lived in Durham with my Core Four for 2 years, until I met my man:) and married him.  Then I moved again, but still lived in Durham,  I just changed roomies.  Hubbs preferred that he and I live together ya know:).  We were in that apt. for 2 years.

Until now...bum bum bum.

We've made a big move (at least for me) and are now living in Knoxville, TN.  I've never lived in another state before.  Heck, I've never lived more than 1.5 hours away from an immediate family member before.  This is big people. 

When I realized that hubby's local options for post-grad school were more than likely going to take us to a not-so-local place (maybe even out of state), I began praying.  Hard.  You see, I was really freaked out about moving.  I was scared.  I prayed and prayed for God to show us where He wanted us, for Him to prepare a place for us, a church for us, a small group Bible Study, and friends...that He'd go before us, wherever that may be, and get it ready for our arrival.  At the same time, I prayed that He'd work in me and change my heart about it all.  That He'd calm my fears and prepare me for the move. 

I prayed this over and over again, because I was that afraid of being away from a job I liked (most of the time), people I loved, a church where we felt comfortable, a city where I knew the directions, ACC basketball season, UNC blue items in stores, etc. etc. 

If you've not figured this out yet, I don't like change...frankly I just usually don't handle it very well.  At all.  I like to be in control and to know what is coming next.  I hate the gps because it never gives me enough time to prepare for a turn or an exit.  2 miles insn't enough Jane!!!! 

I digress...since I figured out that we'd be moving about a year before we were actually going to be moving, I had a lot of time to pray about it.  And you know what?  God used that time to calm all my fears.  In that time, I think I only freaked out about moving a few times to my friends and family...and honestly, that is pretty good for me.  I cried about it like twice...not bad for someone who despises change huh? 

Not only did God calm my fears about moving, He actually planted a seed of excitement about it.  (Well, not about the option that would have taken us to northern NY but that is another story.)  Instead of focusing on all the things that could be sad or scary, I started focusing on things I thought I might like:)  I became excited about seeing new sights, doing new things, meeting new people, finding a new church, and even living a little further away from family (not that I don't love them, I do, I promise...but a little distance never hurt anyone every now and then, right?) 

I have to say, that God has really blown me away with this and I'm quite joyful.  This move could have been so much harder on me and therefore on hubbs too...but it's been a lot of fun:)  God blessed us...we found a church quickly, I got plugged into volunteering activities early, we've joined a community group and a Bible Study with other young married couples, and heck, we're even making friends!  And though I still can't stand Jane (gps)...I'm learning to rely on her because I still have no idea where I'm going most of the time yet.  It's a relationship in progress, let me tell you.

All that to say, I'm really glad I trusted God on this one, because I know if I'd left it entirely up to me, I'd have gone through dozens of tissue boxes by now and probably been depressed and pitiful.  I'm so thankful for His provision through this whole process.  Hubbs couldn't be in a better job right now and we love Knoxville.  We are really happy here and I have God to thank for that.

My First Offering

I have to be honest, I've been a little envious of everyone that has entered the blogging world already....I felt I was missing out on something for a long time.  I had this strange idea that my life wasn't complete if I didn't have a blog, and reading everyone else's was so much fun.  It somehow made their lives seem way more fun and interesting than mine.  At one point I even rationalized that there was no point in spreading all of my private stuff on the internet for the world to see.  I thought it was just plain stupid to be so open with things that I'd only previously wrote about in my journals...(secretly I was jealous of everyone that was already dishing about their lives online).

Well, I eventually realized that I wasn't missing out on anything in particular.  I even let go of the idea that posting my life was stupid because I started to read people's blogs and I'd actually learn something...either about them, or about faith, or letting go, etc.  I'd have my heart broken over something or I'd rejoice with the blogger when she experienced joy.  I felt connected...to friends I've known since college, or to complete strangers in other states, but connected nonetheless. 

Once I reached that point, the struggle entered in.  Would I have anything interesting to say that wasn't just a regurgitation of a bazillion blogs I've seen already?  Would I actually really post about the hard things...could I actually put it out there for people like my family to read...even the "secrets"?  Well, we'll just have to see. 

I don't have anything like a cute baby to post about (like many other girls my age...at least not yet anyway).  Nor do I have a cute house to decorate...and I don't even have a full time job to post diatribes about either.  No pets to ooo and aaah at.  (But my fingers are crossed for a kitten by next Christmas.) 

Here is what I do have to offer the potentially interested cyber world:

1. My faith.
2. My marriage.
3. My heart.
4. My strengths & insecurities.
5. My life...when it's mundane, crazy, normal, and beautiful.
6. If there is more than that, you and I will be discovering it at about the same time:)

So I hope you're happy with that.  I am.